"Ummm, Mom, I know you told me not to (verb), but....."
"Remember when you said that if I told you the truth and didn't lie that I wouldn't be in trouble?"
"I said that you'd be in less trouble."
"Oh. Okay. Nevermind."
"Is it normal for my (body part) to (verb)?"
"It tastes like that one thing we found that one time."
"You were serious about that?"
"But they're still clean. My pants have been on over them all week."
"I think it's dead."
"Don't tell her."