Nine things you don't want to hear your sons say

I know, there are way more than nine, but this idea came to me last week while the boys were home for term break. All week. That's nine days in a row, in case you were wondering. And they are in no particular order.

"Ummm, Mom, I know you told me not to (verb), but....."
 

"Smell this."


"Remember when you said that if I told you the truth and didn't lie that I wouldn't be in trouble?"
"I said that you'd be in less trouble."
"Oh. Okay. Nevermind."
 

"Is it normal for my (body part) to (verb)?"

"It tastes like that one thing we found that one time."
 

"You were serious about that?"
 

"But they're still clean. My pants have been on over them all week."


"I think it's dead."


"Don't tell her."